How long do you keep a New Year's Resolution?
There are a couple of layers of thought here. Personally, myself, I made a N.Y.R. to stop making N.Y.R.s about 10 years ago. I've done really good at this one! Congrats me!
But I was thinking more about this after reading a blog post from a new dad. He had been writing about 2 friends of his that had real tragedy happen to them, and how it hit home with him.
Of course, now, I can't find the blog to link to it....
But it kind of goes like this--
One close friend had dropped her 3 year old son off at the father's house, and the child was battered to death.
The second was a friend since grade school, who had been diagnosed with cancer. They had promised to get to a Lakers game together for years, but time got away from them, even with the cancer warning, and the game never happened.
How many of us make these promises to ourselves? Not just New Year's Resolutions, but promise /I'll start working out; I'll eat less; I'll love my spouse more; I'll finally manage to take my father golfing/ Whatever it is. We all have promises that we make that for some reason we just cannot follow through with.
As I pondered, this kind of grew. How intensely do we live life? Are we living in the moment as those moments go by? I read a very interesting article about awareness (not online as far as I can see,) and basically we only have a 3 second existence. We have full awareness of the moment we are living in, We have about 1.5 seconds stretching into the past, and we have around .5 seconds we can barely see into the future.
How intensely in the moment are you? Are you living right now, or are you thinking about the future? Are you stuck in the past?
Maybe your resolution is to have a little boredom in your life. Can you be in the moment? Really, intensely bored? (I guess...)
So Sal Khan, of Khan Academy fame, Gave a commencement address at his alma mater, MIT. It really is a great talk. Give it a watch. Here is my rewrite of the end---
So imagine we are in the future, 40 years from now. We are all retired, President Kardashian is speaking to us from the Hologram Tube, and we are reflecting on our lives. Looking back, none of us say 'Oh, if only I could have one more board meeting, shareholder vote, or hour in front of the TV!' Of course not. Looking back, the things we might regret would be 'Ah, I wish I could tell my mom and dad how much I appreciate how hard they worked for me, I wish I could see that one good friend one more time, hug them a little bit harder, just because I never got to hug them again. Hear that stupid old joke from another friend, because even though we were all tired of it, it was his favorite, and I'm the one who got to say it at his wake.'
We would want the experiences with our friends, with our loved ones. We would want that quiet moment on the hillside at sunset, or just to cuddle with your child as a baby again, to hear your son or daughter say "I love you," even though they don't know the full extent of what it means to you.
And then... *poof!* a genie appears.
That genie says to you "You know, I've been listening in on your thoughts, and I agree. Wouldn't it be great to be able to live your life, exactly as you have, but to cherish those moments just a little bit more? To live in the moment just a little bit more? Well, as it happens, I am a genie, and I can make that happen for you. You can have everything in your life that you had before, only this second time around, you can really live in the moment. Live in the moments. Hug that person, say thanks, express love. Hell, even have a board meeting!"
Of course, you say "Sure, let's do it!"
*poof*
You already have that second chance. You are already living that second chance. Next time you talk to your friends, tell them what they mean to you. Yes, I know, more than enough people are just not that interested in getting all mushy. That's ok. You can still tell them. Why not?
A little quote?
You will never regret more the things you did, than the things you could have done, but did not.
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