If you ain't got family, you ain't got shit

We buried my Godfather last week.

Outside of my dad, my godfather was the biggest male in my life.

James "Jake" Earley, Chicago Police Department, Badge #10092.

My Uncle Jim was a larger than life figure. He is the only person that I know personally who knew my dad when my dad was younger, like high school. Jake married my dad's big sister Mary, and that is the connection between the Donohue and Earley families. You have no idea how complicated it gets after that!

I have Irish on both sides, Donohue and Tunney. My extended family tree stretches out... and out.. and out. I gave up trying to keep track of everyone a lonnnnng time ago.

The wake and funeral did give me a chance to see my amazing cousins on that side of the family again, and since my branch was the youngest, my cousins have adult kids (2nd cousins) and they are amazing, too! We've since pledged to stay in touch a little better, and with FaceBook, etc, that should be a lot easier... staying in each other's lives. Because; If you ain't got family, you ain't got shit.

"Blood is thicker than water, right Godson?"

How many times did I hear him say that! A thousand? Easily.

Family was #1 in life. Church was #2. At the homily, Father Jim Hyland (whose first Parish was St John Fisher, where my uncle lived,) gave a beautiful eulogy of his own for my uncle. One of the many things he said was that Jake knew all the mass schedules for the area. He knew that if he had to work late, the times of the last mass in the area, or he could always stop by the hospital, or which Parish had the latest mass.

He loved family. He watched out for us when my dad slipped into gambling and his alcoholism got really bad. He worked extra hard, and instead of going out with the 'boys,' he picked up extra duty to pay the bills off early. His gift to his kids upon graduation from college? No college debt.

He adored his grandkids. He loved seeing them as often as he could. He had retired by the time they were getting older, and he went to every game that he could get himself to.

He was a great, big, fun man. He lives as large as he could stand it. When my Aunt Mary passed away, suddenly.... he was heartbroken. His only wish was to join her, but his will to live kept him going for so many years.

Aunt Mary died a little too much inside when her daughter, my cousin Nancy, died from cancer. Nancy was another one who lived as if she colored outside the lines. She had all of her dad's 'live out loud' sense, but she was also the closest to us in age, so we had a special connection. I visited her when she was hospitalized, and she was really weak. Cancer is such a bastard. Anyways, when I got in to her room, she was resting alone. I sat down next to her bed and held her hand, and after a few minutes she opened her eyes, saw my and smiled, and said "Scotty!"

We talked quietly for a few minutes, max, and then she said she was still tired. I told her she needed to rest up, she had herself, her three kids, and her husband Mike she needed to fight for. She nodded off, saying "Love you, cousin," and I said "Love you most!" and she chuckled softly and went back to sleep.

I left after she was back asleep, and went about my day. I called my mom on my way home, and she asked if I had seen my aunt of uncle. I said they had stepped out, but I got to talk to Nancy a little bit so it was fine. My mom called me later laughing. Uncle Jim and Aunt Mary had been down getting a bite to eat, and when they came back up to Nancy's room, she said I had stopped by. They thought she had dreamed that I was there, because nobody else saw me!! We had a great laugh over that.

When Nancy passed, my Aunt Mary passed away a little bit with her. My aunt died a few short year later, and all my Godfather has wanted since then is to be with his wife again.

Uncle Jim is finally where he wanted to be. I am sure he is sitting next to Aunt Mary, and she is telling him what needs to be done, and he is saying "Yes dear," and taking his marching orders and getting the job done. I know he misses his kids and grandkids... jeez, he loved his grandkids. I know how much he misses them because of how much WE miss HIM. But family is #1, and his #1 was my Aunt Mary.

I got to visit him right before his 83rd birthday, and took the 'selfie' of the two of us. I am so grateful to have had him as my Godfather, and to see in real life, in real time, someone who doesn't just mouth the words about the importance of family, but lived it daily, hourly.

He was so much larger than life. So now I'll hoist a beer and repeat after him..."Body of Christ..."

Thanks for everything, Godfather.