Uberiffic!

Ah, what to do, what to do.

So back in December, I injured my shoulder. Nothing big, I was flying the next day, all was right with the universe. It hurt swimming, so I cut back on that, but otherwise, I was quite well.

I had my FAA Medical (Airline Captains have a medical every 6 months) on Feb 17^th, and I go to a pretty thorough doctor. As we were having the exam (various vision tests, heart, BP, etc…) he manipulated my arm and saw me wince. He asked me

“So, what is this all about?”

I told him that I had hurt my shoulder (most likely a small tear in the rotator cuff, which is all the connective tissue, tendons, ligaments, etc, that join at the shoulder. ) but I had no issues doing my job, etc. I showed him that I had full range of motion by moving my arm around, and he said “Let me check something.” So he had me hold my arms straight out to my sides, thumbs up, and he pressed down on my arms just outside my elbows. I winced as he pushed down, and he said “Scott, I hate to say this, but that is a disqualifier. You can’t have pain with resistence. I will have to defer your medical.”

What????

So he called in to the DuPage FAA Medical Standards office, and they confirmed it. He told me that the FAA expects us to be pulling bodies out of the burning airplane, and I told him “You do know that my actual job is to get out and watch everyone burn to death, right?” He said he knows that, but the FAA doesn’t see it that way.

“So, we’ll defer your medical for 3 weeks so that you can heal properly, and then you’ll be good to go.”

So I told him that it is a good thing I don’t abuse my sick time!! 3 weeks more of vacation, here I come! (We had just gotten back from Cabo and visiting friends in San Diego. Thomas is 5 and ½ years old, and my job is to be away. I don’t mind being home at all!)

So I scheduled a visit with a good friend of mine who is a PT, and we got an RX for Therapy so that I could work on building up my shoulder a bit more aggressively.

In the meanwhile, what to do?

Got oil changes for the cars, got brake work done, organized the garage a bit, cleaned a bunch of crap off the table, organized the closets… wow, lots to be done.

But for a little extra money? (I’ve got the time, after all, and even a little money is more than we had yesterday…) I’m not really qualified to do anything. Well, I move people around. What can I do that moves people around?

So, I became an Uber driver.

We have a car that meets the specifications (4 doors, late model, in good condition,) and I have time. Why not?

If you don’t know what Uber is, it is a ‘ride sharing’ service. You register and download the app onto you phone, and then when you need a lift, instead of hailing a cab you see if there is a car in the area, and you pay by distance driven. Everything is run off of credit cards and GPS. No money changes hands. I think it is fantastic, especially for women traveling singly in the cities. You just jump in, most likely you have already entered your destination (which does not show up to the partner/drive until they pick you up) and away you go. Most of the time, except in “Surge” times, it is far cheaper than a cab, and the cars are kept in much better condition, because they are personal vehicles.

So I went on the website, clicked ‘join as a partner,’ and we were off and running.

You have to submit all of your information to them. They do 5 different checks; a criminal background check, a sexual predator check, a credit check, and 2 others that I can’t think of off the top of my head. This takes a few days. In the meanwhile, you watch the video on “How to be a 5 star Partner.” It is crazy how simple it is. Not in a bad way. but really, the start-up costs are nil, if you already have the car.

Once you are accepted into the system and are able to ‘go online,’ you simply open up the Partner App on your phone, click “Go Online,” and the app uses GPS to find you and look for riders.

The reality is the riders look for you. On the Partner App, there is no way to see riders or other drivers; You drive around, or park, or whatever, and then when someone is looking for a ride, they can click on your car, and you will be ‘hailed.’ Then you drive to the GPS pin or address they put in, and take them on their way.

They do have software that runs an algorithm that is called the ‘surge.’ If there are few drivers in an area and many riders, they ride share ‘fare’ will increase (shown as 1.2X, or 1.5X, etc) and that will bring more drivers into an area (supply and demand—no drivers and lots of riders, higher rider fares are charged. Biggest I ever saw was in Lincoln Park when a Bulls game was letting out. All the drivers go to the Stadium because they know there will be a lot of riders and fewer drivers, so they are searching for that 2.0X. Those of us who stayed away from the madness saw a few moments of a massive 5.0X in Lincoln Park (because all the drivers were at the United Center!!))

I had a great time. Really. It is a hoot. Having never been a cab driver, I don’t know if there is much of a comparison, but while drivers get rated, drivers can rate the passengers, too, so if you regularly get low rating, drivers will turn you down or you may be removed from the system. Makes people be on their toes a bit more!!

Some of the people that I met and gave rides to—

On my very first day, I had a pickup in Rogers Park that I had to drop off near UIC. From there I had a rider at 17^th and State (At a restaurant that Nicole, Thomas, and I went to dinner at a few weeks ago) who needed to be taken to 44^th and Western. From there I got pinged, and the rider was at 7700 S Green. (ruh roh.)

When I pulled onto the block (This was in a nice little snowstorm on Wednesday night, Feb 25^th,) the first 4 buildings on my left had boarded up windows and doors. This is where being part of Uber helps – if someone thought they were going to ‘roll’ me, all of their information is already in the Uber system.. Uber knows who called me for the ride, and has their credit card info, etc…etc… lends an extra level of safety to the scene. Plus, I grew up in Chicago, I’m a city boy. I know the ‘hood.

I picked up a younger black man in a baseball cap and with a backpack. He had a big grin on his face, and as he walked up he said “Scott?” (The driver’s names are known before you get picked up.) and I said “Yes!” He told me he was sure glad to see me, he didn’t’ think he would be able to catch a ride so late (it was a little after midnight, and… well… 7700 south Green is pretty much the ghetto.)

His destination was in Hyde Park. So we started chatting. Here is his story.

“T” grew up poor in New Orleans. They didn’t think they were poor, they were just not wealthy. He is in pre-med at University of Chicago, and plans on going to dental school. His little sister has been accepted to their pre-med program, too. He told me that his father died when he was younger, and his mom was a ‘washer-woman, a laundress.’ She does laundry for rich folk, like table linens, etc. He said if he came home and had less than 2 hours of homework, his mama would beat him with a wooden spoon, saying “There has to be something you need to read or study, now get cracking!” She taught him that the only way his family was ever going to get out of the ‘poor folk ghetto’ is if he and his sister got a proper education and got them family out of there.

It was like having a time life story in my back seat. I hope he succeeds, and he said his little sister wants to go for it all, be a surgeon. I wished them both luck when I dropped him off.

“B” was having a terrible time. Something bad was going on, and she didn’t want to talk. I asked her if she wanted the radio off, too, but she didn’t mind that, she just didn’t want to think too much.  When we got to her stop, she was very contemplative, and was hesitant to get out. She kind of steeled herself, and then went on into a private residence. I didn’t get more than 10 words out of her, really. Everyone has something going on.

“T” is a younger woman who is working on a pair of master’s degrees. She grew up in Brazzaville, Congo. Her family moved here when she was 12. She speaks 6 or 7 languages fluently, and there are a few dialects of Congalese that she knows well enough, and that are different enough, that they are really different languages. She was fascinating to talk to. She had some choice words, btw, for Americans who call themselves “…African-American when they have never been to Africa and probably can’t find Africa on a map.” (This is a pretty common theme amongst immigrants from Africa that I have met (Ethiopia, Congo, Ghana, Senegal, and Namibia.) An Ethiopian-born co-worker of mine said “African-American?? African-American my ass. I’m African-American; YOU’RE black.”

I had an evening when I seemed to be taking chefs and cooks all around the town. The following night it was directors and producers from Second City and a few other theaters. One was a pair of couples, best friends, who had children about the same age, and it was their first night out again since the babies were born.

People going hither and yon. One Friday I seemed to spend all my time heading up to Glenview.

It was a lot of fun. I met a number of really interesting people. One of my riders jumped in, and after a minute said “Ok, there are TWO kinds of Uber drivers; Cabbies, and people like YOU. What do you do in real life?”

I had 4 young girls jump in; I picked them up from an after hours club. They all had black “X” marks on the backs of their hands; I figure they were under-21 but allowed into the show. I picked them up at Irving and Pulaski, and they wanted to go to basically 6600 N. Sheridan. It was 2am. As we started our way north, all 4 girls were complaining about going to this party. One of them had a crush on a guy who might be there, but none of them liked the crowd that they knew was going. After a mile, I told them “Look, I’m not gonna get all father figure on your guys, but none of you want to go to this party. Why are you going? For a maybe? You guys were having a blast together when you got in. Don’t even bother going to this party, just go to another place, and continue having fun. Believe me, I have been in this spot, and you’re better off just continuing to have fun instead of going half way across the city to NOT have fun. You have your whole lives to not have fun!” One of the girls in the back said “You’re the best Uber driver in the world!” All they wanted was for someone to say ‘Hey, you really really want to go to this place?’

One gal had just found out she was accepted into a PhD English program at Brown; another pair of girls were reuniting after a decade apart from when they were exchange student families together. One was from Berlin, one was from Chicago, they both were chefs (This was on chef night.)

I had a bunch of really fun conversations, albeit short. One rider and I ended up talking about books and literature, after she had quizzed me about what is my top 5 musical artists. I said I need more than top 5, more like top 15. I like everything from Rush to Hoagy Carmichael (to which she replied—Hoagy is sublime. Sheer beauty. Mozart of jazz.) She recommended I read “The Holy or the Broken,” the story of Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley, and the song “Hallelujah.” I am about 10% of the way into it, and it is really an interesting story! I told her she needed to read “Griffin and Sabine.” I hope she does, and she enjoys it.

One guy (late late) and I started talking about the old AND1 basketball series that was on late night cable. He had been a huge fan, same as I was, and he was stoked to find someone who knew what he was talking about. We had a great ride!

And then…. there is always an ‘and then!’ I had Pringles Guy.

I got pinged to pick someone up around Division and I90. The pin drop was the front of a church, so I knew that could not be right at 0130. This guy came out of a gas station and waved to me.

He was bombed.

All I could think of was “Oh, Dear God, please don’t let him puke in the back seat.”

I could have zipped away, but I didn’t. He got in, and it took him a good 2 minutes to be able to spit out the address he needed to go to. He started with “Just go ahead and go right,” But I knew he wouldn’t be able to function much longer.

Oh man…. lol.

So I finally got him to come up with the name of a building, and off we went.  After driving for a bit, I heard a munching sound coming from the back, and he was partially slumped over, mashing Pringles chips into his mouth, and they were spilling all over.

Then he passed out while I watched at a light, dumped the Pringles can onto the seat, and rolled onto the can and chips, crushing everything under him to little Pringally bits on the seat and spilling onto the floor.

I finally poured him out at his destination (as far as I know, it was.) Thankfully, it was right at North and Clark, and there are two 24 hour gas stations there, so I was able to vacuum out the car and clean everything off.

Pringles Guy was the worst of it. I gave him 2 stars.

I think Uber is a great idea. Certainly, the cat is out of the bag, and putting it back in would be impossible. Recently there was a cabbie strike to protest Uber, and the Uber and Lyft Drivers made out like bandits, laughing all the way.

It is good for the public in general, and you can make a little cash on the side. I think you could do it full time, if you wanted, but it is brutal on the cars. I like that they do background checks on their drivers, and how the business is conducted. I know they had some growth pangs a little while ago, but they seem to have weathered the storm.

Since there is no way for the driver to know where you go before you get in, I think it is a bit of a misnomer to say ride sharing. I think a better platform for true ‘ride sharing’ would be a system whereby you enter roughly your start and your destination, and if someone wants to jump in along your route, you accommodate them, and they contribute to the cost. That way, if you were heading from … say… Lincoln Park, to the United Center, Someone could see that you were willing to chip in, and if everyone threw in a couple bucks, it would work. Certainly there is a way to program THAT into a GPS driven system.

So yesterday I started back at work after a circus show trying to get my medical back off of deferral. I love my job, and the people I work with, but Uber certainly provided something to do, a little bit of cash, and a good time.