50 Secrets? Wow, they don't get out much!

Reader's Digest published a list titled "50 Secrets Pilots Wont Tell You," by Michelle Crouch; who, I guess needs to get out more. Or maybe not believe everything pilots tell her. Admittedly, if you are outside the aviation world, all of these might make some kind of sense, but wow, did I want to barf.

So, having given some foreshadowing of my reaction to the article, here are the quotes (with 'who said what,') and my honest opinion of them. *The Reader's Digest quotes are in blue, my responses are in black. If you can't get colors on your smart phone, or whatever, I can't help you. I am not based here, and am lost, too.

We asked 17 pilots from across the country to give us straight answers about maddening safety rules, inexplicable delays, the air and attitudes up there—and what really happens behind the cockpit door. What they told us will change the way you fly.

Good Lord, could you make it more dramatic? "change the way you fly?" Really? 95% of the people who read this will still continue to check the cheapest box on Kayak.com no matter what is on your website

“We miss the peanuts too.” -US Airways pilot, South Carolina

Midway Airlines had honey roasted peanuts... yeah, I would be pushing 300lbs by now....

What You Don’t Want to Know
“I’m constantly under pressure to carry less fuel than I’m comfortable with. Airlines are always looking at the bottom line, and you burn fuel carrying fuel. Sometimes if you carry just enough fuel and you hit thunderstorms or delays, then suddenly you’re running out of gas and you have to go to an alternate airport.” -Captain at a major airline

"...suddenly you're running out of gas and you have to go to an alternate airport." Yes, we are tight on fuel. Nearly all the time. Honestly, though, if there are chances of TRA or +TRA (thundershowers with rain, or thundershowers with intense rain (thunderstorms are considered intense, bar none,)) and you did not plan more fuel, or request more fuel, then you as PILOT IN COMMAND are at fault. Our job as Captains is to be the stopgap and plan for contingencies. Of course they want us to carry less fuel, because it takes fuel to carry fuel (They would love for us to carry no fuel... they are working on that.) If you fail to plan, then you fail, period. I know sometimes 'things happen.' That is why you plan for contingencies. If 'suddenly you're running out of gas' then you did not plan correctly. Don't blame the company, which is an evil you damn well know.

“Sometimes the airline won’t give us lunch breaks or even time to eat. We have to delay flights just so we can get food.” -First officer on a regional carrier

Sometimes we are delayed, and even the planned break (if you are fortunate enough to have one in your schedule) doesn't work out. Yes, we will delay flights to get food, either for my fellow pilot of for my Flight Attendant. Fuel for the airplane, food for my crew. After all, I have all day. ;)

“We tell passengers what they need to know. We don’t tell them things that are going to scare the pants off them. So you’ll never hear me say, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we just had an engine failure,’ even if that’s true.” -Jim Tilmon, retired American Airlines pilot, Phoenix

I also have never said the word 'turbulence' on the PA. I say 'bumps.' Turbulence is scary, it breaks airplanes, but bumps? Yeah, my car goes over bumps, no problem, right? So many people are discombobulated to begin with when they hit the airport, there is no need to add to their stress. Although if the engine did fall off the airplane, they might notice that.

“The Department of Transportation has put such an emphasis on on-time performance that we pretty much aren’t allowed to delay a flight anymore, even if there are 20 people on a connecting flight that’s coming in just a little late.” -Commercial pilot, Charlotte, North Carolina

This is also driven by the surveys that y'all fill out. Number one answer, for well over 30 years? Depart On Time. Not "depart with all the passengers on time," or anything like that, just depart on time. Mostly because people forget that who cares when you depart? If we depart an hour late, but manage to arrive on time (I've come close to that) then who cares what time you departed? There is a group in our Systems Operation Control called "Yield Management." They look at delays, crew and aircraft movement, cost of cancellations, etc, and they make the decisions on which flights get cancelled and which ones do not. The FAA might call and say 'AA needs to cut 35% of their flights between 3pm and 8pm' [like in a massive snowstorm.] Yield Management makes the decisions which flights get cut, which ones depart, which ones swap arrival times, all that stuff. Pilots, Gate Agents, FAs, Baggage peeps... we have no control over that. I had a passenger tell me the other day that we had given him 3 gate changes, and we always do that to just him. I told him "Yes, sir, we did. None of the other passengers on that flight mattered, neither did the ground crews, who have to juggle the connecting inbound and outbound bags, nor the fueling department, which has to chase the aircraft down, nor maintenance, which might have scheduled work to do, nor catering, and certainly none of the agents inside the terminal nor any of your fellow passengers mind running back and forth across the airport. It was all just for you." (BTW, you can see why a job in Customer Service might not be the best place for me.) And this was a day they were swapping out gates to just simply get flights in and out. Sorry.

“The truth is, we’re exhausted. Our work rules allow us to be on duty 16 hours without a break. That’s many more hours than a truck driver. And unlike a truck driver, who can pull over at the next rest stop, we can’t pull over at the next cloud.” -Captain at a major airline

This is actually under the old rules. We were allowed to be schedule 14 hour duty days, extendable to 16. Now they took a bunch of science and tightened that up a little bit. (FAs still do not have any laws restricting their time. As far as the FAA is concerned, they can be run 24/7/365. All their restrictions are contractual. )

What We Want You to Know “Some FAA rules don’t make sense to us either. Like the fact that when we’re at 39,000 feet going 400 miles an hour, in a plane that could hit turbulence at any minute, [flight attendants] can walk around and serve hot coffee and Chateaubriand. But when we’re on the ground on a flat piece of asphalt going five to ten miles an hour, they’ve got to be buckled in like they’re at NASCAR.” -Jack Stephan, US Airways captain based in Annapolis, Maryland, who has been flying since 1984

If USAir is still serving Chateaubriand, I cannot wait for the merger to be done! Gotta get me some of that! This is a 50/50 deal. Yes, FAs are up and about when we could hit turbulence 'at any minute (way to scare 'em, Jackie!!) If I remember my stats correctly, the #2 reason FAs end up taking trips to the hospital is sudden, unanticipated a/c movements on the ground. The #1 reason is turbulence in flight.

“The two worst airports for us: Reagan National in Washington, D.C., and John Wayne in Orange County, California. You’re flying by the seat of your pants trying to get in and out of those airports. John Wayne is especially bad because the rich folks who live near the airport don’t like jet noise, so they have this noise abatement procedure where you basically have to turn the plane into a ballistic missile as soon as you’re airborne.” -Pilot, South Carolina

Reagan National (DCA) is a piece of cake. I really hope that any pilot worth a crap is not challenged by landing there. Sure, the airspace around the airport is pretty unforgiving (fly over the White House, lose your job!.. or get shot down. Whoops!) but the airport itself is fun. If 'flying by the seat of your pants' means 'manipulating the controls of the aircraft so you can land,' then yes, you are. Most pilots enjoy a little skill work... and if they don't, then that is sad. One of the joys of being a pilot is.... (surprise!!) actually flying the plane! If you consider the Noise Abatement Procedure at SNA a ballistic missile departure, then you're doing it wrong. I am not a fan of it, but it is not dangerous, just stupid. Rich people problems around that place!

“At some airports with really short runways, you’re not going to have a smooth landing no matter how good we are: John Wayne Airport; Jackson Hole, Wyoming; Chicago Midway; and Reagan National.” -Joe D’Eon, a pilot at a major airline who produces a podcast at flywithjoe.com

If you can't get a smooth landing at MDW, DCA, or SNA (assuming you actually have enough time in your aircraft to have on average decent landings,) then you need to check your license at the door and go into another profession. Come on, Mr D'Eon, fly in my jumpseat, and we'll do a visual to 1, transition to 33, and I will land it with flaps 22, in the Touchdown Zone, make the turnoff at Sierra, or Kilo if they ask nicely. You won't even spill your coffee. Why? Because I can actually fly my plane.

“I may be in uniform, but that doesn’t mean I’m the best person to ask for directions in the airport. We’re in so many airports that we usually have no idea.” -Pilot for a regional carrier, Charlotte, North Carolina

But ask anyways! Maybe I am based at the airport, or maybe I am coming from the place you are trying to locate, or maybe you just want to know the way out! Even if I do not know the airport, I am used to airport signage, and can at least point someone in the right direction. Maybe. But you can always ask! Jeez, Mr Pilot for an unnamed regional carrier in Charlotte, just try a little bit.

“This happens all the time: We’ll be in Pittsburgh going to Philly, and there will be a weather delay. The weather in Pittsburgh is beautiful. Then I’ll hear passengers saying, ‘You know, I just called my friend in Philly, and it’s beautiful there too,’ like there’s some kind of conspiracy or something. But in the airspace between Pittsburgh and Philly there’s a huge thunderstorm.” -Jack Stephan

There also might be CHEMTRAILS! We fly between the cities, not just at the cities, so weather between them obviously could effect our flight.

“You may go to an airline website and buy a ticket, pull up to its desk at the curb, and get onto an airplane that has a similar name painted on it, but half the time, you’re really on a regional airline. The regionals aren’t held to the same safety standards as the majors: Their pilots aren’t required to have as much training and experience, and the public doesn’t know that.” -Captain at a major airline

"...aren't held to the same safety standards as the majors..."  Please, show me proof. If you cannot, then please do not make accusations such as this. Branded flying is a whole 'nuther kettle of fish.

“Most of the time, how you land is a good indicator of a pilot’s skill. So if you want to say something nice to a pilot as you’re getting off the plane, say ‘Nice landing.’ We do appreciate that.” -Joe D’Eon

Eh. Usually if a passenger says "Nice landing," we say thanks, but when out of earshot we'll say "What about my take off? That was a work of art!!" or "I had my eyes closed in terror the entire time, the FO had to coach me down!" We grade ourselves by our landings, and we grade against each other for fun.  The FAs will grade us, too ("Did we land, or were we shot down?") A simple "Thanks!" is great, or say "hi" on your way in. And please, let your kids see the flight deck... they are always welcome if I am flying; take their picture up there if it is their first flight, too.

“No, it’s not your imagination: Airlines really have adjusted their flight arrival times so they can have a better record of on-time arrivals. So they might say a flight takes two hours when it really takes an hour and 45 minutes.” -AirTran Airways captain, Atlanta

This is true. If the Gov't is tracking your arrivals for on time performance, and you can put some padding in there, then wouldn't you? It is not like getting you there early is a terrible thing!

When to Worry
“It’s one thing if the pilot puts the seat belt sign on for the passengers. But if he tells the flight attendants to sit down, you’d better listen. That means there’s some serious turbulence ahead.” -John Greaves, airline accident lawyer and former airline captain, Los Angeles

Yeah, don't get up if we tell the FAs to sit. That is what one of instructors calls a 'Clue Bird.'

“There’s no such thing as a water landing. It’s called crashing into the ocean.” -Pilot, South Carolina

This pilot needs to be smacked with something large. "Crashing into the ocean"?!?!?!?!?!? The term for a 'water landing' is ditching. There are procedures for it (depending upon the airplane you are flying,) and while not something we plan on doing (hard to reuse that plane!) and it is not like we practice it, it is there. "Crashing into the ocean"... ugh... 

“A plane flies into a massive updraft, which you can’t see on the radar at night, and it’s like hitting a giant speed bump at 500 miles an hour. It throws everything up in the air and then down very violently. That’s not the same as turbulence, which bounces everyone around for a while.” -John Nance, aviation safety analyst and retired airline captain, Seattle

If you fly into an updraft, and everything gets thrown up into the air, then it is turbulence. That is one of the definitions of.... turbulence. 

“Is traveling with a baby in your lap safe? No. It’s extremely dangerous. If there’s any impact or deceleration, there’s a good chance you’re going to lose hold of your kid, and he becomes a projectile. But the government’s logic is that if we made you buy an expensive seat for your baby, you’d just drive, and you’re more likely to be injured driving than flying.” -Patrick Smith

"Extremely dangerous." Extremely???? Wow. Strong word! I would say about as dangerous as having your seat belt undone. Yeah, if something happens it would be bad, but most of the time nothing happens. The gov'ts logic is correct, when viewed this way. A certain percentage of people would not fly if they had to buy a seat for their infant, and would drive. Driving is slightly more dangerous than flying, due to a number of factors, but including issues like; you are on the road much longer as a time factor, exposing you to more time for an accident to take place; Non-fatal car accidents are far more likely than non-fatal aircraft accidents once we get into 'you will have an accident' territory. It is not a terribly big issue. A number of FAs would disagree with me on that, but as a father and pilot I had no issues with my wife and I traveling with our infant son as a lap child. 

When Not to Worry
“Pilots find it perplexing that so many people are afraid of turbulence. It’s all but impossible for turbulence to cause a crash. We avoid turbulence not because we’re afraid the wing is going to fall off but because it’s annoying.” -Patrick Smith

Annoying and tiring and inconvenient and just basically not fun. Oh, and there is a minor... small... possibility that something might get 'bent' (see definition of 'Turbulence-Severe'.)

“People always ask, ‘What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?’ I tell them it was a van ride from the Los Angeles airport to the hotel, and I’m not kidding.” -Jack Stephan

Being in a van driven to the hotel in a snowstorm in Buffalo, NY, and almost skidding off the road at least a dozen times (and going down the interstate sideways, losing control numerous times, etc...) makes losing an engine in cruise-climb a walk in the park.

“I’ve been struck by lightning twice. Most pilots have. Airplanes are built to take it. You hear a big boom and see a big flash and that’s it. You’re not going to fall out of the sky.” -Pilot for a regional carrier, Charlotte, North Carolina

Most pilots have not. Airplanes have ways of dealing with it, but they don't like it. You are pretty certainly going to lose something... instruments, lights, something will check out for the rest of the trip. Modern aircraft are wildly electronic and lightning can play havoc with that. Or, nothing will happen. You just don't know.

We Don’t Get It
“Most of you wouldn’t consider going down the highway at 60 miles an hour without your seat belt fastened. But when we’re hurtling through the air at 500 miles an hour and we turn off the seat belt sign, half of you take your seat belts off. But if we hit a little air pocket, your head will be on the ceiling.” -Captain at a major airline

A little air pocket should not send anyone to the ceiling, although if you hit it right, everyone will be wearing their seat belts after you go through the pocket. I don't know many 'Captains' at major airlines who describe flying as 'hurtling through the air.'

“If you’re going to recline your seat, for God’s sake, please check behind you first. You have no idea how many laptops are broken every year by boorish passengers who slam their seat back with total disregard to what’s going on behind them.” -John Nance

or get a drink spilled into your laptop. Either would suck. 

“There is no safest place to sit. In one accident, the people in the back are dead; in the next, it’s the people up front.” -John Nance

In general, the people in the back are more likely to live. It mostly depends on how the accident develops. The people in the back are the 'last ones to the scene of the crime.' They are also most likely sitting on top of a bin full of bags, too. If the plane goes skidding off the runway into the trees, the people in the front will cushion the blow for the people in the back. BTW, pilots tend to die in very high numbers in accidents... we're the first ones to the 'scene of the crime.'

Advice for Nervous Fliers
“The smoothest place to sit is often over or near the wing. The bumpiest place to sit is in the back. A plane is like a seesaw. If you’re in the middle, you don’t move as much.” -Patrick Smith

Depends on the plane. Aircraft with under-wing mounted engines (737, 747, 757, 767,) tend to have their center of gravity near the wing (small physics lesson-- everything will rotate around the CG... so the back of the plane might go up, the front of the plane will go down, but the CG will experience relatively no movement, or only a little, like the pivot on a teeter-toter,) so the smoother ride will be over or close to the wing. On T-Tail aircraft, however, (MD-80, DC-9, EMB-145, CRJ,) the CG is aft, towards the tail, so the plane reacts like a diving board; soft towards the back, but the pilots are out at the far end of the diving board. You might get a few bumps, but our eyes are turning to jelly.

“If you’re a nervous flier, book a morning flight. The heating of the ground later causes bumpier air, and it’s much more likely to thunderstorm in the afternoon.” -Jerry Johnson, pilot, Los Angeles

Applies to summer flying far more than winter flying, but the advantage of morning flights is there are fewer delays, because they have not 'built up' over the course of multiple flights all day.

What Really Drives Us Crazy
“Please don’t complain to me about your lost bags or the rotten service or that the airline did this or that. My retirement was taken to help subsidize your $39 airfare.” -Pilot, South Carolina

Ouch, bitter. 

“Here’s a news flash: We’re not sitting in the cockpit listening to the ball game. Sometimes we can ask the controllers to go to their break room to check the score. But when I fly to Pittsburgh on a Sunday afternoon, the passengers send the flight attendants up at least ten times to ask us the Steelers score.” -Commercial pilot, Charlotte, North Carolina

The controllers in all odds actually have the game on right in front of them. I prefer to make up scores to games I know nothing about. 

“I am so tired of hearing ‘Oh my God, you’re a girl pilot.’ When you see a black pilot, do you say ‘Oh my God, you’re a black pilot’?” -Pilot for a regional carrier
Those Silly Rules, Explained

I had a passenger in Midland, Texas, say to my very pregnant FO (actually, it was her last trip before maternity leave would ground her) "They let little ladies like you fly?" My response of "I hear they are gonna let them vote, soon, too!" probably did not go over well. 

“We don’t make you stow your laptop because we’re worried about electronic interference. It’s about having a projectile on your lap. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get hit in the head by a MacBook going 200 miles per hour.” -Patrick Smith

Unsecured things fly around the cabin and hurt people. If our gear collapses on landing, we're gonna careen around a little bit before we stop, most likely. Be nice to strangers (and our FA, who happens to be all the way in front, and is the target of anything that will be unsecured if we suddenly stop.)

“People don’t understand why they can’t use their cell phones. Well, what can happen is 12 people will decide to call someone just before landing, and I can get a false reading on my instruments saying that we are higher than we really are.” -Jim Tilmon

Jury is out. We can hear GSM phones turn on in our headphones through the radios (honest, place a call while your AM radio is on in your car. Hear that? That is what our radios do, too. And our navigation equipment is based on the same radios. You do the math,) and I am pretty sure we could make the nav needles move around a bit. This is a combination of safety 'just in case' and practicality. Aircraft are measured very carefully for shielding and placement of antennas. They don't just put all those pretty little antennas all over the aircraft randomly, they are placed optimally to not interfere with each other, and they are not accounting for all kinds of random unshielded electronics devices. Also, cell phone towers are designed for 'line of sight,' so really a phone may be in range of 2 or 3 towers, but not more... at low altitude, you might be in range of a dozen or more, and cell phone companies don't need that kind of load on their systems. Just wait that extra 90 seconds to find out the latest that Kim Kardashian did... really, you'll be better off.

“We’re not trying to ruin your fun by making you take off your headphones. We just want you to be able to hear us if there’s an emergency.” -Patrick Smith

Props to the FAs. I would certainly want to be able to hear everything in an emergency, wouldn't you? No? 

“We ask you to put up the window shade so the flight attendants can see outside in an emergency, to assess if one side is better for an evacuation. It also lets light into the cabin if it goes dark and helps passengers get oriented if the plane flips or rolls over.” -Patrick Smith

Although I think if the airplane flips over passengers will be far more disoriented by the sudden poop in their collective pants, this holds water.  Just listen to your FA... They really do not do all of this in an arbitrary way, they are there for your safety. Honest.

It’s Not All Glamour Up in the Air
“When you get on that airplane at 7 a.m., you want your pilot to be rested and ready. But the hotels they put us in now are so bad that there are many nights when I toss and turn. They’re in bad neighborhoods, they’re loud, they’ve got bedbugs, and there have been stabbings in the parking lot.” -Jack Stephan

We had a pilot stabbed in the parking lot in Raleigh many years ago, an AA pilot was shot in the eye in the parking lot of the training hotel, and of course there have been muggings, etc. Most of the time hotels are decent.... Usually when we stay someplace in a great location or quite a bit fancier than we are used to, our first comment when we walk into the lobby is "This ain't gonna last long."

“Those buddy passes they give us? I give them only to my enemies now. Sure, you can get a $1,000 airfare to Seattle for $100. But since you have to fly standby, it will take you three months to get back because you can’t get a seat.” -Pilot, South Carolina

Hahahaha.... oh, so true. So true. It is amazing how many times people flying standby can get out but not back. 

Here’s a Little More Free Advice
“Cold on the airplane? Tell your flight attendant. We’re in a constant battle with them over the temperature. They’re moving all the time, up and down the aisles, so they are always calling and saying, ‘Turn up the air.’ But most passengers I know are freezing.” -Captain at a major carrier

I don't know any pilot in a battle with the FAs over temperatures. We certainly don't have passengers telling us about the temps during a flight. Our temp controls are separate from theirs, too. On my plane, the back tends to be warm, the front tends to be cold.

“I always tell my kids to travel in sturdy shoes. If you have to evacuate and your flip-flops fall off, there you are standing on the hot tarmac or in the weeds in your bare feet.” -Joe D’Eon

There is something to be said for this. At the least, don't take your flip flops off. You might need your feet to take you over some rough patches. 

“Most people get sick after traveling not because of what they breathe but because of what they touch. Always assume that the tray table and the button to push the seat back have not been wiped down, though we do wipe down the lavatory.” -Patrick Smith

I would go even that the lav has not been wiped, either. On the flip side, don't be a chicken to touch things... who knows where your fingers have been!?

“The general flow of air in any airplane is from front to back. So if you’re really concerned about breathing the freshest possible air or not getting too hot, sit as close to the front as you can. Planes are generally warmest in the back.” -Tech pilot at a regional airline, Texas

Pretty plane specific, but close enough to what I said earlier.

“I know pilots who spend a quarter million on their education and training, then that first year as a pilot, they qualify for food stamps.” -Furloughed first officer, Texas

1/4 Million dollars?!? $250,000?? Really? Where the hell did they go to school? Does Princeton offer an Aviation Management course? WOW! We have had a lot of pilots (and FAs!!) on food stamps. Some of the starting wages are borderline criminal. A post on that to come sometime soon! (in the next 4 years or so, the way I am going....)

“Do pilots sleep in there? Definitely. Sometimes it’s just a ten-minute catnap, but it happens.” -John Greaves

My fav quote-- Captain to First Officer-- "If I wake up and catch you sleeping one more time..."

“People tend to think the airplane is just flying itself. Trust me, that’s not true. It can fly by itself sometimes. But you’ve always got your hands on the controls waiting for it to mess up. And it does mess up.” -Pilot, South Carolina

"...always got your hands on the controls waiting for it to mess up." Wow, this is gonna be one stressed out dude! In nearly 11,000 of part 121 (which means airline) flying and 14 years, I have never had an autopilot kick off for anything other than turbulence, and that was MAYBE 3 times. Less stress there, pilot dude, less stress, please.

“One time I rode in the jump seat of a 747 freighter, which carries cargo, not passengers. As soon as the doors closed, the first officer went in back and put on a bathrobe and slippers. No kidding. He said, ‘I’ll be damned if I’m going to wear a tie for a bunch of boxes.’” -Tech pilot at a regional airline, Texas

Cargo pilots are weird. 

“We don’t wear our hats in the cockpit, by the way. On TV and in the Far Side comic, you always see these pilots with their hats on, and they have their headsets on over the hat, and that always makes us laugh.” -Joe D’Eon

I know a guy who did wear his hat with the headset over it. You all know who these guys are, too.

“Remember this before you complain about the cost of a ticket: Fares today are about the same as they were in the 1980s.” -Patrick Smith

Before deregulation, only 10% of the public had flown. In the late 2000s, only 5% of the public (USA) has not flown. 

A Parting Thought
“Here’s the truth about airline jobs: You don’t have as much time off as your neighbors think you have, you don’t make as much money as your relatives think you make, and you don’t have as many girlfriends as your wife thinks you have. Still, I can’t believe they pay me to do this.” -Commercial pilot, Charlotte, North Carolina

I can totally believe they pay me to do this, because I worked my ass off to get to the point where I could get hired, and it cost me a pretty penny. All in all, I love going to work every day. I work with great people, and that makes up for all the political corporate crap you could ever throw at me. If you wanted to have a girlfriend in every 'port,' you would have to be able to get the same schedules, same overnights, over and over... impossible!! I have more time off than an average 9-5 worker, but an unfortunate percentage of it is spent in hotels away from home. Advantage-- when I am home, I am home. They don't call me on my day off and say "Scott, you need to come fly this plane, nobody else can do it!" (although they might not be able to do it with quite the same panache!) Downside, when I am gone, I am gone. If something happens at home, I am hours away, sometimes many, and for our international flying friends, they can be half a world away. I miss my family as much as anyone else does.

Three Things Pilots Will Never Say

I am just going to replace what they wrote with what I have heard....
           "No, thank you, I am not interested in free drinks."
           "A Free USA Today (or Wall Street Journal?) I think I will pass."
           "You know, I make plenty of money, we should all take a pay cut."

If you made it to the end, you are crazier than I am for writing this thing.

Cheers, y'all.

Interesting Picture

Belle Of Louisville, 1976

Interesting story behind this photo!

I posted it is part of the tbt (Turn Back Thursday, or Throw Back Thursday, whatever it is, on Facebook.)

First, my connection to Louisville, and Kentucky.

We used to stay at a friend's cottage in Rough River Lake, Kentucky. This friend was a Catholic priest, a chaplain in the Civil Air Patrol, and an all around nice guy. They had the house on the lake so that the priests could get away from the city for a few days here and there, but we were allowed to come down and basically take up residence for the summer. Fr Jim was amazing, he put up with this family coming down from Chicago every year!

On the last day of school, we would be so excited. Sometimes we would even start down that very day! We usually came back just in time to get fitted for uniforms and start the next school year.

My dad, of course, only had so much time off, so he would go back and forth a few times, working at home and then trading days to have more time at the cabin.

It was idyllic, to say the least. Not a care in the world, we would run around barefoot, the street the cabin was on was a dirt road, we were tanned from our scalps to our toes.

It was 100 steps from the cabin to the lake, and our mom would just let us swim on our own.... we were 3,4,5 years old. Of course, she did not know how to swim, and still does not! (I find this out at FORTY!!)

Well, we used to stay with "Uncle Jim" (Father? We have a dad! Ok, Uncle it is!) when we came down on trips; we would stay for a few days in Louisville, sleeping in rooms in the rectory in the Cathedral of the Assumption, and then we would make the drive to the lake.

You have to realize, the lake was pretty isolated, and as we found out on vacation a few years ago, it still is! You have to drive at LEAST 30 miles to come upon any store of any reasonable size. Everything has to be driven in. I loved it. Far from everything. Middle of nowhere.

So they finally paved the road, etc... etc...

But about that picture.

Fr Jim was my inspiration for flying. He used to come up to Chicago via Kankakee, and my mom would drive down and we'd meet him down there. I got to fly up to Midway with him. I feel in love with flying. That was all it took!!

So Fr Jim was a chaplain in the CAP. He was flying some friends somewhere, and had engine problems, and put the plane down in a field, but could not stop before going into the trees. He died either on impact or in the hospital later.

Another priest, Fr Wagner, (Fr Speedboat... also, the priest whose library held 'Jonathon Livingston Seagull', which cemented my love of flying) developed the film that was found in Fr Jim's camera after he died.

The last pictures on his camera were of us kids hanging out in Louisville, and that picture of me, on The Belle Of Louisville, on the Ohio River. If I remember right, we went out and ate some hush puppies after we went on the trip.

Amazing how something can reach through time and touch you all over again.

What's in a name?

What's in a name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose,
by any other name, would smell as sweet."

Business 101. When you are an established company, one of the single most important things you can do is protect your name. That is how you are identified.

There is a reason that Disney (tm) protects that mouse and his silhouette. If you were to, say, stamp that mouse logo onto bumper stickers (obviously without Disney's permission) and start selling them, the lawsuit filed against you would start in the 10s of millions of dollars. Serious.

What is in a name.

Envoy Air, Inc.

A little background is in order.

American Eagle was the name given to the 'feeders' that provided short-haul service to American Airlines in the mid 1980s. You can look up the entire history of the airline, etc, on Wikipedia here, but I'll give you the short form.

American Airlines had a number of 'feeders,' or regional airlines that provided connecting service from the hub system to smaller cities that AA could not service, like Waco, Texas, Madison, Wisconsin, etc. With smaller loads to those cities, it made sense to contract that flying out, or come to an agreement with a local carrier that already had service to those cities, in exchange for flying the passengers through their system.

The original Eagles were Metroflight, Air Virginia (which would become Nashville Eagle,) Simmons Airlines, and Command Airways. These were combined or joined at one point or another with Wings West and Flagship. Executive was brought into the 'fold,' but was kept on a different "Operating Certificate" because of their Caribbean flying (over-water requirements, etc. Pretty much every pilot and FA at an airline is subject to everything or place that an airline can serve, with all the requirements of currency, etc... so keeping Executive separate actually made fairly good business sense.)

Over time the Company realized that having multiple separate airlines was starting to work against them. They would have crews in DFW from Wings West, and planes in DFW from Flagship, and the WW crews could not fly the Flagship aircraft, etc. In the meanwhile, they had flights not being operated, cancelling, etc, with crews and airplanes right there. Not to mention the fights in the crew lounges. Serious. Even by the time I got down there in 2000 crews would talk of...' that section over there is where the former WW guys sit, so don't go over there...' 'Those are the Metro pukes, by those tables, avoid them.' Serious. Although you can understand all of this when you know what Whipsawing is.

So one of the things that companies do to reduce costs is try to get a lowest common bidder. Now, it would behoove a corporation, and be due diligence for their bond- and share-holders, to make sure that the lowest bidder can actually deliver on what they promise.

Whipsawing is a whole 'nother animal. An airline (say... AA, for instance,) would get a tentative agreement from Regional Airline A to fly a certain plane on certain routes for $X/seat mile. These would sometimes be flights already flown by Regional Airline B. Then AA (or whatever airline) would go to Regional Airline B and say "Regional Airline A has agreed to fly these routes for $X/seat mile, if you don't go to at max $X-10%, we'll give the flying away to that airline. Then they could even go to a 3rd airline and repeat that. Ad Nauseum.

Really, it gets wildly more complicated than that, but that is the gist of it.

You whipsaw, or pit those airlines against each other, in a bidding war. But it is a bidding war for flying that is already being done by one of those airlines. This starts what we call a race to the bottom. The lowest bidder is usually the lowest for a reason!

This is where people outside the airline industry kind of lose contact with the world that pilots inhabit.

Flying is an incredible job. You can't beat the view... we had clouds and rain for a good 2 months a few years ago, but I manged to get some blue skies every day. If you are the Captain, you are the Master. There are a number of jokes about it, but the difference between being a First Officer (co-pilot) and being a Captain, is the First Officer asks, the Captain tells.

This is rooted in "The Buck Stops Here." The basis is from sailing and seamanship. Somebody has to make the final decision. Someone has to be the decision maker. Dispatchers, Schedulers, Flight Attendants, Gate Agents, Yield Management... everyone has a little say in the matter, but there must be someone who has experience (ideally) who is on the scene who will make the decision. You have to be able to operate as a bit of an independent agent. You must be able to make decisions.

Blanket statement, but realistically all US airlines decide who is CA and who is FO by seniority. Obviously, you want your most experienced pilots to be the ones making the decisions. It is simple; when your seniority can 'hold' Captain, you go for some additional schooling, then get tested a smidge more thoroughly on what you already know (or if you are going to another aircraft, you get to really learn that other plane!!) and then you get to fly from the left seat (and generally take a substantial raise, too!)

Most of the pilot jobs are union jobs, too. no statement for or against unions, but everyone who has been in a union knows, if you switch positions, where do you go? Right to the bottom.

So after you have been at a particular airline for a while, they kind of have you trapped. If you want to switch airlines, even with 20+ years experience, in all kinds of aircraft, all kinds of weather, the day you show up for the first day of class at the new airline, you are Joe the New Guy. You have nothing. Day 1.

Most jobs, if you make a management position, when you send out your cv you are applying for management positions, etc. Or you can use that as leverage into a track that will get you placed better.

Not for pilots (or FAs, for that matter. I am concentrating on pilots, though, since we tend to be a LOT more heavily financially invested in just GETTING our jobs.) Just about any other job, if you got into higher positions, you would be rewarded for that.

Not to mention, you have to be selected from the application pool. This takes a combination of luck, 'who do you know,' and a bunch of other factors, like timing, are they hiring, is there growth, are there retirements, etc. You can usually find a fairly ready job at a similar 'tier' airline, but then again you could be leaving a job making $100K/year for a new hire position at... honest... $19/hour. And while that may sound like much, a monthly guarantee might only be 72 hours/month.

BTW, that is what college kids are looking at. They are coming out of college with $100K+ in debt, and entry level positions can pay $19K/year. Some pay a little more, and the rates go up to decent wages at some airlines (at AE, or now Envoy, our FOs top out in 8 years at $42/hour. But that can be a loonnnng road. I know it. I was an FO for 10 years.

OK, enough digression.

Eventually, AA realized they could get more 'bang for their buck' by combining the "Eagles" under a single "type," and save a lot of headaches. So they merged a few of the regionals, and eventually cobbled everything together under the name American Eagle Airlines, Inc. It was combined under the Simmons type (hence the MQ, for Marquette, Michigan) and in the 1990s, everything was one happy, loving company.

They added Business Express as a buyout, and those pilots were added to the seniority list when I was a new hire, so throughout the year 2000, etc.

American Eagle Airlines became one of the dominant regional carriers in the industry (maybe by force of weight!) and our only real limit was the Scope Clause that we operated under. Essentially, unless AA increased 'available seat miles,' we were limited by a formula of AA ASM / X. I don't know what it was, but we could not add flying in certain types of aircraft and we were restricted from flying certain routes, etc. However, we were very successful. More flying was moved to Eagle (such as Cleveland to Chicago, which used to be a mainline AA route,) in place of cities like Stephen's Point, Wisconsin to Chicago.

Eagle started flying further and further away. We started servicing cities that mainline AA had almost completely forgotten about, such as Louisville, and picked up former traditional AA cities, like Montreal. We could do the lower load flights more efficiently, so it made sense for Eagle to do those flights, and for AA to free up another aircraft to do higher capacity routes, like Dallas, New York, etc.

We built up a reputation under the Eagle name. People knew what they were getting. We had transitioned to an all jet fleet, and had 240+ aircraft. We were the only regional that had to report Arrival Delays to the FAA for tracking, that is how big we had gotten. Of course we were not perfect, and as you get bigger, more can slip through the cracks, but we took a lot of pride in who we were. I had not problems telling people I flew for American Eagle Airlines, the regional arm of American Airlines.

Recently, a few years ago, Some of our Chicago flying got farmed out to another regional, named Chautauqua Airlines. They are a subdivision of Republic Airways Holdings, inc. AA decided to farm out some of our close in flying, and then Eagle could be sent on more longer haul flying. So Milwaukee, Madison, Lacrosse, Grand Rapids, etc... were farmed out to another airline. Those are flying jobs that are not on our list, not available for us to fly, and they pay a fee (Fee For Departure) to that airline to operate the flight on a schedule that meets up with the AA one, but anything above that fee that they get, they get to keep.

Then, we were informed that our LAX flying was being farmed out to SkyWest. The company had said they were going to put a certain percentage of flying up for bid, and we had to bid against other carriers for it. I know, we are wholly owned, who is doing the bidding for us?

So we were never even informed that the LAX flying was up for grabs, we just got an announcement that we were closing up our base there, and the crews would be displaced and reassigned.

Then we were informed that our San Juan flying was up for grabs, and some of our Miami flying would go with it. This went partially to JetBlue, and the RJs picked up the rest.

Then they started assigning some of our Dallas flying to Express Jet.

The LAX flying and the DFW flying was rebranded as "American Eagle," so those airlines had to have written on the side of their aircraft "Express Jet, dba [doing business as] American Eagle."

That was the start of the death of our name.

Almost 2 years ago, now, we were asked to take a round of concessions in our contract, so that it would position us to fly larger regional jets, specifically the new Embraer 175s and Bombardier CRJ 900.

I was not a supporter of that agreement, but the work group passed it, and 48 hours later AA announced that the EMB 175s were going to Republic Airways, and they would be taking that flying in Chicago.

Thanks, guys!

So AA was emerging from bankruptcy after joining with USAir, and now would be known as the American Airline Group.

Someone somewhere decided that since we had an airline, American Eagle Airlines, and we had other regionals flying under the American Eagle banner (dba,) it would make sense to have the 'contract carriers' fly under one banner, one name, simple for all.

So they decided that name would be American Eagle.

Once again, American Eagle would be the shell that regionals would operate under when they were 'feeding' AA.

But in the meantime, there was an actual airline named American Eagle Airlines.

So... completely against all sense, everything anyone would have learned about branding in BIZ101, they decided to take an established, recognizable company, give their name away to 10 airlines, and change the name of the company.

And they changed it to USAirways business class service. Envoy.

So now, every regional airline that is feeding USAir (for the moment) or AA, is painted or will be painted as American Eagle. A name that is already established.

But when you go to the airport, you will check in at the American Eagle ticket counter. Except you have no idea what airline you will be getting. Here are the carriers that will eventaully be operating under the American Eagle Logo:

Envoy (Legacy American Eagle)
Republic
Chautauqua
ExpressJet
SkyWest
Air Wisconsin
Mesa Airlines
Piedmont Airlines
PSA Airlines
Trans States Airlines

Your ticket will have 'Operated by,"and the aircraft are required to have the name of the actual airline (Doing Business As) but the aircraft will all be painted as "American Eagle."

I am sure that this was extensively focus group tested, and it tested high. I have yet to meet or talk to a single airline person who thinks this is a good idea, who gets behind the new name and cheers.

They decided that we needed our own identity.

We had our own identity, and YOU took it away from us, and gave it to everyone else.

It is going to cost millions of dollars to make the changes. Every single item from Legacy American Eagle has to be changed to Envoy (a note on style... Envoy Air is the name of the airline, but the logo is not capitalized. Who decided this, e. e. cummings??)

No joke that it is millions. We will all get new uniforms. Everything that you can imagine that needs to be changed will be changed.

It makes you wonder what they are thinking. Some firm decided that this would be a good idea, and it was worth spending $$Millions to make the change.

Did anyone at the Board of Directors ask some of the basic questions??

IS this good for our bondholders and shareholders?

IS this good from the standpoint of our reputation as an airline (name recognition?)

HOW does this increase shareholder value or equity?

WILL this be good for the company long term, for our employees and customers?

I am not a fan of the name change at all. I really think they would have been better off making the regional feed all "Envoy," and all of the regionals could be a "messenger or representative on a diplomatic mission." American Eagle operating as Envoy for AA. I could fly with that.

I still have a few more days before I have to go back to work, and it will take me a long time to erase 14 years of flying as "Eagle" or "Eagle Flight." But it is not my airline, and if they want to change the name, they can. April 15, 2014 is a sad day.

What is in a name?

Everything.

So much for THAT race!

So, I have been doing 5K runs, etc, on my overnights.

This was just something to make my overnights more interesting. It started when I had a 'Lost Weekend' in Huntsville, and I found a race that benefits the Wounder Warrior Project/Foundation. That is actually the previous post, now that I think of it.

I was looking for races that I could do on Running in the USA. I found this 'great' series in Texas, one that had everything from a 5K run to a 1.5K swim with a 10K run. Excellent, basically the bookends of an Oly Triathlon! (just no bike... sweet!)

So I registered for the race. Sounded simple enough, the water in Lake Grapevine would be (relatively) warm, I could schlep my wetsuit down for the swim if I needed it, and as a bonus, I was scheduled for training the 2 days before the race, so I would simply stay in Dallas an extra night, and then fly home after the race. Excellent.

I knew something was wrong when I did not get a single email about race packet pickup, etc, as we were leading up to the race. If you have never done any 'event' before, then you need a little explanation.

Normally, at least a week before any event (from running a 5K all the way up to doing a long distance triathlon,) you get an email or two... or 3... or, in the event of an Ironman Series or something major like the Chicago Triathlon, a couple dozen emails continuously with information. Where to park. The racecourse layout. Schedule of events. Packet Pickup (checking credentials, etc.. etc...)

I had received nothing at all 24 hours before we were supposed to enter the water.

I called the contact number, and a young woman answered. I told her that I had not had a single email about the event since registering, and she forwarded me on to someone I believe is the race director.

I spoke with him, and he said obviously there was some oversight on their part, and the packet pickup would just be down lakeside before the race.

Ok, I understand, things happen. Somehow I dropped outside the system and did not receive anything... in addition, there were no race layout plans on the website, parking information, etc.

But, sally forward!!

I rented a car after my training event ($14.99/day!) and figured I could go jump in the lake and see how the event would be set up. This is a great idea for those of you who have never done an event like this. Get down, check out the layout of things, it takes quite a while to set up an event, so the day before there will always be start areas, finish, buoys bobbing in the water, etc.. etc...

I got down to Lake Grapevine, and the Park Service people said that had not seen anyone, but had heard there would be a race. More warning signs. They told me that the running events, etc, were usually right down by this one parking lot, and if there was swimming, it would probably be from this beach, etc.. etc.. I was welcome to check out the park area without paying, because I would be there the next day, if I were only planning on spending an hour or so. Nice people.

Lake Grapevine is about 10' (yes, feet!) off of the normal water level. Everything is out of place. They have had to extend docks, etc, as the lake effectively 'pulls away' from the land. They need rain in a big way.

So I parked, and wandered around looking for signs of life. There were people barbequeing, families playing, but nothing like a race area even starting to be set up.

I circled the area on foot, and then went down to the most logical place for a race to start/stop if it is in the water, a broad expanse of beach... or, 'beach,' on the north side of the park. Long flat entry, shallow out to at least 50' from shore, that kind of thing. Going to be a kind of hairy run to get to the water, because the shoreline was a good 100' out further than it would normally be. That is ok, I can live with that. The picture right is from right above where the current shore is. This would normally be under water from here.

I changed into my shorts, grabbed my goggles, and swam in the 62F or so water out to the buoys, which are maybe 120 yards out. I swam around to the next buoy, and then came back in. Just a quick 300 or so yards of swimming, to see what I could see. The water was fairly murky, and the water temp was not horrible, once I had acclimated. It would certainly be very pleasant with my wetsuit on.

I was really unsure how they were going to set up an entire race area from the time I left (about 4pm,) before the race started in the morning, but hopefully, they knew what they were doing. They did not have to set up a bike transition area, so that would make things a little simpler, but they had to mark out multiple distance race courses, both water and land. Start lines, finish lines, safety areas, water tables; so many things to set up in a single evening!

I spent the rest of Friday visiting friends in the Dallas area, which was great. Nearly all of our training is done in Forth Worth, but we are always in and out, never get time to see people we are not in class with.

I was just wrapping up visiting with a friend who has left Eagle (now Envoy Air, which is a whole 'nother blog post) and is in training for AA as a flight attendant, and I got an email from the race director (This is 9 hours before race starting time.)

A truly apologize for having to cancel tomorrow’s kick off event of the FIVE55 Series Dallas.  Unexpected circumstances have a risen that were totally out of my control.  To make up for this inconvenience you can either transfer your registration towards a future event or get your money back.  Whichever you choose you will also receive a coupon code for 50% OFF to any of our future races in 2014.

Unexpected circumstances? Really? You had nothing set up 18 hours prior to the race. The lake level has been low for months.

This was sent out 9 hours before race time. How many racers are already asleep and will not be checking their email? how many volunteers were sleeping, thinking they had to get up at 4am in order to be able to help get the course ready?

I was really looking forward to this race, and while it was nice getting to see some friends that I would otherwise not get to see, I will not get the rental car $ back, or the hotel $ back, or anything else except my race fee (according to that email... it was not credited as of this writing. And if I were this race director, I would make sure that happens ASAP.)

In my reply to his email, I wrote that I am "...eagerly awaiting my refund as promised for the race entry fee, and I anticipated that it would be highly unlikely that I registered for any event run by his organization again."

Sometimes we race, and sometimes we don't.

Oh, well, at least I got to see some friends. :)

Cheers!

Scott

Grissom JROTC Wounded Warrior 5K

Quite the comedy of errors!

I was scheduled for this lost weekend in Huntsville, Alabama. Basically, my flight into town arrives on Friday night, and then I work the flight out on Sunday morning. All day Saturday.

I was able tot plan out a visit with some friends down here, but I also wanted to do some better exercise and workouts on my overnights.

I went on the website http://www.runningintheusa.com, and found that there was a 5K here, and I registered.

Big bonus, the run benefits the Grissom High School JROTC (Junior Rats On Toasted Cheese) program, and the Wounded Warrior Project. I am a big fan of the WWP, and ROTC is great, so excellent.

When I started my 4 day trip, I asked my FO if he had plans for the HSV overnight, and he said he gets them to visit family in Birmingham. I told him I was going to do this 5K, gave him the details, and he said that he would love to do it, too. It would be his first ever 5K of any kind!! How cool is that?!

All the parts are in place.

We were held up and late in Montreal because of weather, but thankfully we are so shortstaffed, that there was no way they could recrew our trip.

I woke up on race day, and my FO had left me a voice mail. His rental car was blocked in at the rental car agency, and nobody was around. So he took a cab out to the race site, because he needed to get there early to register.

Thankfully, my very good friend Desiree had left me her car the night before (she came by and hung out for a bit, and then her bf picked her up.. simple!) (Also, thanks again for the car, Desiree!!) So I had a way there.

I got to the race site, and my FO was trying to find me because he had our race packets. They had closed the near parking, so I had about a 1/4 mile jog over to find him. Then, because he obvisouly does not know the car, I had a 1/4 mile jog BACK to where I had parked. While we were doing all of this, the race cannon started, so we missed the start. Then we jogged the 1/4 mile back, found the start, but they had taken the start timer off. So, we looked at each other, grabbed out phones, started our MapMyRun apps, and off we went.

We found the walking group a few minutes after starting off, and I settled into a nice 10:00/mile pace. My FO has been running a bit more regularly, so he shot off and was gone.

It was a really pretty run, through part of a residential neighborhood, and then around through a park that runs along a river. There were some characters all around cheering everyone on.

This is a military town, and a heavy military presence. Lots of Army unit insignia, some Navy, Marines, and Air Force. Well represented, no doubt!! It was great to see!

Finished in 32:28, which was probably more like 31:30, as there was a weird hitch in the run that was really some extra distance not on the map (hey, when you are a follower, and everyone turns, you turns... lol) So I don't feel too bad about that. I was holding back a little bit, because with all the running back and forth to get to the starting line, I had not had nearly enough time to stretch properly, and I really do not want to go back to my dance with runner's knee.

After the race, they had a large number of Army and Navy men and women in uniform to greet the runners, hand out bananas, water, etc. I grabbed a water, and then just went along shaking hands, telling all of them "Thank you so much for your service, and your dedication to our country." That always makes my day better when I can say thanks to our servicemen and women.

A great time was had by all, my FO got his first ever race of any kind in, and I got to support the Wounded Warrior Project and a local High School. Hard to beat that for a Saturday morning!

On to the next one!!

Cycle for Survival, Angiosarcoma, and Ryan

Hi gang!

I joined a group to Cycle for Survival. One of my coworkers, Ryan Humphrey, was diagnosed with angiosarcoma.

Here is the link to donate.

The Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center allocates 100% of their donations for research. I am normally very skeptical of charities, and do quite a bit of due diligence before I donate. I have even stopped donating to some organizations completely, because they burn through so much money.

MSKCC is not one of those charities.

100% of the donations go to research.

Not to advertising.

Not to executive pay.

Research.

Please click the link above and throw a couple of bones our way. I will be cycling on Feb 8th.

Cheers!
Scott

after some time off...

Well, the cobwebs here got pretty thick!!

I took some time off, and enjoyed it tremendously. I love to write, but I think it is channel to hear myself think, more than anything.

So, hopefully in 2014 I will get a little more writing done, that is for sure.

There are so many posts that I started writing, but I just killed off like so many soap bubbles in the tub. Part of that has to do with where I would like to take my blog; in what direction.

I started this blog to describe my experience as I transitioned to Captain at AE; I am still a Captain, 3.5 years later (thankfully!) but wow have there been some changes!

Bankruptcy!
Merger!
Contract dispute!

In addition to that, I generally have aired my views on health and fitness here, too (something else I took a month off from.... exercise. I had a nice light workout today, but it has been since just before Thanksgiving since my last real workout, not to mention my last real post.)

Food... exercise... aviation... That is more than enough for a couple of blogs, and I can barely keep a single one straight! (actually, two, if you include the Maskwa specific blog.)

So there has been a lot going on. There is some interesting things going on in the health world... especially regarding resistant starch., and edible clay.

Gut biome health is being properly seen more and more as intrinsically important to our overall health. That's right... the trillions of 'bugs' in your intestines might play a wildly more important factor in our health than ever thought before, both mentally and physically.

Additionally, after some pestering by blogger and google, I have decided to allow a strip of adverts in the corner of the blog. Click on it... doesn't cost you anything, and maybe they'll throw a cupcake my way.

This morning started my official zero-carb month... After vacation in which I ate every single piece of bread thrown my way, drank lots of beer, and ate sweets galore, it is time to burn off the gut. Yikes. I bet I put on 10 lbs (and since I was not working out regularly, I am willing to bet I lost even more pure muscle mass.)

Interesting studies on vegetarianism... especially this tidbit--- with wildly varying diets, etc... there are no vegetarian or vegan centenarians. None. Zero.

Food for thought indeed!!

So, I am dusting off some posts, and there will be more anon....

Cheers!

Scott

who was she?

Well, it has certainly been quiet around here!

Sorry for that; I really enjoyed writing the previous post, and I have had a lot of things that I would like to talk about, however... I just have not had the energy to write. Writing is a bit of a catharsis to me, and I put a lot of energy into it.

So I went for a run today in Waterloo, Iowa. My goal was roughly a 5K in 30 minutes. Not a bad time; That is the pace that I want to be able to hold for long distances. I have only run a single 5K under 30, though, and that was the FLW 5K last year; that was 28: and change, which is still my personal best.

So I knocked out today in 30:34, and it was a smidge longer than 5K. I feel good about that. I am running the Thanksgiving Turkey Trot the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and I am going to shoot for about that time. I felt great after my run today.

But that is not what I am writing about, not really.

While I was running along the river, I jogged past a girl. She was sitting on the rocks uphill (barely) from me, wrapped in a stained jacket, gloves on, knit hat on; just sitting. She looked up as I went by, and her eyes were sunk into her head, giving her a bit of a haunted look. Dark circles around her eyes, and she had dark hair.

Why was she there?

There are numerous explanations, of course, but by the state of her jacket I would presume she is basically homeless, or at least on the verge; the jacket was pretty unkempt, and not something most people would wear if they had access to another jacket; plus, it had warmed up a bit, I would think almost anyone would have at least shed the jacket and enjoyed sitting in the sunshine.

Then my mind continued....

Somewhere along the lines, she was a little girl. Did she have a family growing up? Was she abandoned? Mom, for sure, but dad? brothers? sisters? Somewhere are there pictures of her in a school yearbook, or pictures of her and friend. Do they know what happened to the girl they grew up with? Very few people grow up in essentially a vacuum, so it is likely she had some kind of childhood. How had she arrived at this state of affairs? Did she do this to herself (ruin your own life through addiction and bad decisions,) or did she make most of the right decisions and life would just not throw her a break?

Weird moment as I write this in my hotel room-- my room looks Southwest, across a busy interstate. I had just looked up, taking a short pause to think a bit more about what I wanted to write, and two car carriers went by, both with a Lamborghini (one orange, one red) on it's bed.

Here I am writing about a girl who has by some measure had some type of misfortune (or fortune... fate is mysterious, but I would guess not in this case,) and I see a pair of examples on what great wealth can produce. I am not knocking expensive cars; People with money buy them, drive them. The employ builders, designers, workers, mechanics... and entire small network devoted to producing, selling, marketing, and maintaining those cars... I would hope that they buy more, and there are more to buy and more people to buy them!

But the comparison would be interesting; if this girl I ran past grew up here in ALO, and there is a good chance that that is so, then those two cars were probably worth more money than she has ever seen in her life. And money is certainly not everything, but let's face it... being poor sucks.

Sometimes you wonder.

What we do

For my pilot friends and friends of pilots....

I love my job, I love what I do. Flying airplanes for a living is a dream. I never thought I would be lucky enough to do it. It takes years of work, which is not an exaggeration. While I did not take the most expeditious route as a career, I still put in my time, building hours (= experience in the air,) delivering airplanes for a dealer (numerous trips across the Rockies in single engine aircraft, with a couple pleasure trips thrown in,) gave some sightseeing tours, etc...

[Side note-- single engine at night over the mountains in actual IFR conditions... Good Heavens, as an older, grayer pilot, I don't know if I could do that again. There is an old saying that as a pilot gets older, the yellow streak across his back should get wider... and wider... and wider....] [ I deliberately use the pronoun 'he,' because most women start out with a lot more common sense than men do... y'all are born with it, we have to be scared into it.]

Sometimes we forget what a magical world we get to live and work in. Between company politics, union politics, the Feds, our passengers, our coworkers, the weather.... We forget.

We see ourselves as glorified bus drivers, quite often. The way a great deal of our coworkers and passengers behave, it is quite obvious that they perceive us that way, too, and the craft that we fly as buses.

This should not be a surprise, just by the way we treat ourselves.

I am not a 100% go go company/wave the flag kind of guy; I have my own issues on a sometimes daily basis with the management peeps, we all do. That is part of life.

Maybe it is that 'older grayer,' but what happened to Professionalism?

Why is it that walking through the terminal earlier today, for the all of 40 minutes I was in ORD between flights, I saw 2 pilots walking around with their ties hanging down, shirt top unbuttoned, one with a shirt tail untucked from his pants? Sigh.... Yeah, I am just getting old.

So here is what I got to do at work today, 3rd leg of 3 flying.

Lexington Bluegrass, Kentucky, to Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas.

We could see a line of weather was moving in from the West slowly towards DFW. SOC (dispatch) had planned us with plenty of fuel, both for holding purposes and for diverting to an alternate. That's good, pilots like fuel. Fuel makes us happy. Even if the fuel were on fire, we think 'hhmm... I think I can still get to some of that if I need it before we have to put it out.'

Our planned Alternate is Texarkana. (TXK.) This is what the top of our dispatch release looks like, and I will decode it for you:

So, starting from the top left, you would read this in English as:
Instrument Flight Release Eagle Flight 3196/on the 28th,
Aircraft 856 / American Registration # N856AE,
from Lexington, KY to DFW, TX, with an Alternate of Texarkana.
Minimum Take Off Fuel at brake release to start the take off roll is 9487 lbs,
with a Release Fuel at departure time off the gate of 10,435 lbs.
Total fuel burn is planned at 4,978 lbs, (which includes taxi fuel)
with a planned Arrival Fuel of 5,457 lbs (or 2 hours, 43 mins)
if you need to go to your Alternate from the Missed Approach at DFW, it is at Flight Level 170,
with the ATC codes for that route to Texarkana.

Makes sense, they just use shorthand to save time/paper/make us feel older.

We did not think we were going to beat the weather to DFW, we had almost 2 hours of flying ahead of us, and it was just West of the airport. But we had plenty of fuel, so we were ready to go.


The first 1 + 40 of the flight went perfectly smooth. No problems, just like planned. In fact, to the right is what the flight from the day prior looks like. That is about as straight a line as you can get in aviation. Let's hear it for direct routing!

Around Little Rock, where you see the prior day's routing make a bit of a right turn, they moved us over onto another arrival procedure, to take us on a more southerly routing to the airport. No problem, that is what multiple Arrival Procedures are for.

Here is the route we actually flew, after turning south at Little Rock (looks a little different.):

This is where it starts getting dicey.

We could hear the Center controllers telling the flights ahead of us to look up a certain 'intersection' even further south, to be assigned that 'transition' onto the arrival, and to expect holding at that approach fix. So, we know what we are in for.

Now we start getting faced with options. We are flying slightly faster than our planned cruise speed, which burns a bit more fuel, but you are in the air for a shorter period of time. On flights of our length, the 5-10 minute difference is normally a wash, but heading into decreasing weather, 5 minutes of fuel can be an eternity as you watch the numbers slowly drop.

We dropped to slightly slower than our planned cruise speed, since we knew they were already holding at that intersection. No big sense in flying full speed into a holding pattern; we can eat up some time by slowing down a bit now, save some gas, and increase our holding time.

ATC gave us the hold, and we told them we were slowing enroute to the hold to our holding speed. They said to expect further clearance in 40 minutes (actually, they give a time limit on the clock, but it was 40 minutes out, so it makes more sense to write it this way, contextually.)

We were planned with 35 minutes of Holding Fuel, but we were also planned with 200 lbs (11 minutes) of taxi fuel, and I know we only used 100 lbs of that by the time we took off, so that gave us another 100 in the 'bank,' plus we were slightly ahead of the fuel game arriving at the hold, because we had slowed down enough to make up for the slightly fast flying we had done earlier. Whew!

When they plan our "Fuel to Alternate," It is based on going all the way to our destination, doing a "Missed Approach," (go around, bolter, wave-off, bump and run...) and then flying to our Alternate. Well, we were already flying close to our alternate, so maybe we could find a closer alternate with decent weather so we could amend out flight plan and use that fuel to give us more holding time?

Time to abuse the dispatcher. They do all the computer entries and planning for us, because we don't have the capability to do that in the air in real time the way that they do.

We moved our Alternate to GGG (Gregg Country, TX,) so our alternate fuel burn dropped, which means we had more fuel to play with.

That gave us some time (fuel = time... once you take off, the clock is ticking, because unlike military aircraft, we don't have a way to get more gas in the air.)

We continued to dig for weather for airports that were closer, in case we could move closer, plus we needed to be able to answer the question "IF we divert, where will we go?"

We flew around the holding pattern, which is a pre-planned racetrack-type pattern designed to provide a safe area around the aircraft contained within. We had a bunch of planes above us, but slowly planes were leaving the pattern below us. This is normally a good thing-- ATC brings you into the pattern top to bottom, slowly pops flights off the bottom, and we work our way down the 'stack' until it is our turn to head in.

This time, the planes below us were giving up and going to their Alternate destinations to wait out the weather, get some more gas, etc, instead of being cleared towards DFW. Ruh-roh... that's a bad sign.

They extended our holding time (Gave us a later Expect Further Clearance Time,) and we knew were were starting to get up against a wall, with regards to fuel. We keep track of our fuel as we hold, and we were perfectly configured for the hold, burning as little gas as possible to wait out our time. Eventually, the clock runs out.

We convinced SOC to move our Alternate again, and after he moved it he wrote back "Good thing, we would have had to change it, GGG and TXK are no longer taking diversions, they have too many on the ground. SHV is also not taking anyone." [This, btw, does not have the force of law, or anything; we could have diverted there, they just didn't have room for us operationally (stairs, generators, etc.) which could be a major headache (what if it takes 4 or 5 hours for the storm to blow over, what do we do with the passengers trapped on the airplane??) but we can always land there... it might just not be brilliant!]

TYR (Tyler, TX) is now our new alternate, and it is right off of our right hand side in the hold.

By now, the weather had moved East enough that it was going to be a problem in our holding pattern. In addition to that, we were facing a quick drop in to TYR, or crossing a bit of the weather (but not the nasty bits) to get south to Waco (ACT.) A Delta flight asked if they could move to a track further north to avoid the weather, and hold at a fix there. ATC asked us if that would work at our altitude, too, and I told my FO to reply "Sure, we can get there."

So we started to the new hold, and my FO was starting to get cautious. He had worked out what we needed to get across the weather and into both Waco and Wichita Falls. We heard them start to take flights all the way south and around to basically over West Texas, and there was no way we were going to be able to do that. We just did not have the fuel (lucky dogs, those 767s!)

As we entered the new hold, I knew our time was going to be running out, and we certainly didn't want to wait till the weather completely overran our current (and right below us) Alternate, nor did I want it to 'close the door' for us to reach Waco (which was actually going downhill faster.)

As we entered the hold, I said "If we come back around over this fix again, I want you to call ATC and tell them we're pulling the plug and dropping into TYR; Let's not get stuck up here (as the options disappear)"

Weather, amended releases, more amendments... killing trees!

We made the first turn in the hold, and ATC asked us if we could take a path of Waco. I knew the direction 'line-of-sight' from where we were, and there was a clear shot across a small cloud ridge there (That should also put us most of the way onto the other side of the weather, where assuredly the sun was shining, the grass was green, the breezes were soft, and we had more options to land!) So I told my FO "Take whatever they offer us, we're going to go to the other side," and shot off a quick message to our dispatcher to see if we could change our Alternate to AFW (Alliance Fort Worth, TX, which is right next to (relatively) DFW. While not the best bet for our passengers, it would allow us to fuel up and jump right over to DFW, because we would be on the 'clear' side of the storm front.)

As we passed over Waco, ATC cleared us via a long arrival from very far North West of the airport. That was just not going to work. If we went out that far, we'd never make it back. I said "What are they doing, putting us behind someone just rotating out of El Paso? IF they take us more than 50 miles west of Waco, we're going to Wichita Falls, sound good?"(Waco had finally had the weather close in on them.)

My FO was reluctant; he wanted to just drop right in to TYR, but we had the fuel to make the trip to SPS (Wichita Falls,) plus we had Alliance in our back pocket as the 'real' alternate. I knew that ATC was giving us a full long clearance to get us headed towards the traffic filing in to DFW from the West, but I didn't imagine they would take us that far out.

I certainly hoped that they didn't.

As we made the turn and started working our way northwest, we pulled up some more weather, but we could visually see quite a bit more than we could further east. Then, only a short distance along, ATC said to turn right and go direct JEN (Glen Rose VOR, which chopped about 150 miles off the arrival we were heading out towards.... which was just what I expected.)

The Delta that had started us that way said "If Eagle thinks he sees a hole, I'm following him all the way in," and they were cleared out of the hold and along our path behind us.

We were given a few heading changes, slowly working our way towards DFW from the southwest now. Barely a bump in the clouds, and actually we were mostly outside the clouds by this point.

From there, we just picked our way through the weather, made a normal beautiful approach, and landed at DFW; plenty of gas in the tank, too.

We taxied in to a pretty deserted terminal. "Of course!" my FO said; "They all diverted!"

Not this time for us, anyways. I have diverted before, gotten stuck in the wrong city, had myself or my crew go 'illegal' due to FAA/DOT mandated duty time limitations, which strands our passengers (and ourselves) in cities... totally for safety (by the time you reach the limits, believe me, you are pretty shot.)

But this is the kind of flying that I like (not all the time!)

It is a challenge. How can we maximize our hold time? What can we move to make it more likely we can complete our mission? What is the best way to handle this as the weather goes down the tubes and we are faced with decreasing options and less time to make the decisions given those options (eventually you are faced with a single decision regarding a single option... which is a place you should fight to never be... few options =  no bueno.)

This is why pilots are different. We make these decisions, and we have a planeload of people who essentially have no say in the matter other than they purchased their tickets and they expect to be taken to their destination; safely, hopefully on time, and with a minimum of fuss.

Our dispatchers can't really tell us where to go... although most of the time it would behoove us to listen to their advice, but; they're sometimes hundreds of miles away and sitting in a chair in a building.

Even ATC can't actually make us do something... after all, if in the interest if safety we decide there is a better course of action... well... then that is what we are going to do! (That is part of the job, after all.)

I have said for a long time that runways are magical; they are where the sky and the land intersect... where the airplane changes your world. 5,000-13,000.... that's about it, that is all the concrete you get. But with that little bit of concrete, you get all of the sky... and who gets that concrete?

And who gets to make that world connect? Who is the one who takes the leap?

We do. Nobody else gets to do it. People dream of it, but we get to live it.

We are not bus drivers, or truck drivers, or anything of that sort.

Who is it, who gets........

  Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
 And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
 Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
 of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
 You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung
 High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,
 I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
 My eager craft through footless halls of air....
 Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
 I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace.
 Where never lark, or even eagle flew —
 And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
 The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
 - Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.

To really enjoy John Gillespie Magee's words, read them slowly... savor them. That is a taste of what it is like to fly!

....' on laughter-silvered wings '....

AA 737 contrail in the hold as we arrive

Nearly all of my pilot friends have done the flight, or one similar to the one I did today... they come up a few times a year (hopefully that rarely!) Sometimes we divert, because things just do not work out in our favor; thankfully, it generally works out that we can find a way through. I was lucky enough to spend 10 years as an FO working with a number of very skilled Captains before I took the upgrade to Captain myself (and a few whose interpersonal skills left something to be desired, but what can you do? People are different.)

While we were not born with wings, we have earned them... and that does make us a little different.

The pilot flying a load of cancelled checks across Lake Michigan in December. She is flying low because the forecast was for icing in the cloud layers; she is not even up to her planned cruising altitude, which would give her some margin of safety to glide to shore in the event her single engine failed over the 38F lake water, but this plane always runs rough, there is only a little ice forming on the wings, and it is accreting slowly... going south to stay over shore takes too long, she has a schedule to keep.... just keep running, dear sweet engine, and get me across the lake again, she says to the Cessna 210, as she shines her slowly dying flashlight back, studying the bottom of the wing, watching the ice slowly form.

The pilots who have been holding due to delays; they finally left on their last leg, plane is full, after hours and hours of delays from storms. They make the 2 hour flight across to Montreal; The sun is starting to come up, it is May, so it is rising early, or are they so late? As the sun rises, fog rolls in, blocking out the approaches to the airport, sending them into a missed approach and out to hold while they wait for a little fog to burn off, as their fuel also burns off.... " The fog was not part of the forecast, but how old was that forecast before we left, and I hope that damn sun burns the fog off as it is burning into my eyes; I've been up for 19 hours, and caffeine has stopped working for me; I just want to land.... that damn fog better burn off...."

The pilot sitting amid-ships on the aircraft carrier in the dark, in pitching seas in the Indian Ocean. She is in her F-14, she was one of the last classes, and she will probably be the last female pilot to fly the mighty Tomcat. Her squardon mates have repeatedly boltered; she is sitting ready to launch should the need arise with extra fuel to refuel them in the dark and stormy night. This is her first cruise, and even long time veterans can't hook the wire. Once she launches, one way or another she will have to return to the ship. What is going through her mind as she watches her mates miss the wire and fly off in showers of sparks, sound and fury as they light the afterburners to escape a terrible fate?

The pilot is slowly easing up on the Collective in his gunship; he has been hovering just off of a ridge line, while a small team of Marines is working their way across a field and some obstacles to get in position for whatever hell they are planning on unleashing this evening. He scans his instruments... everything is right in heli-world (a world held aloft by forces working against each other,) he is just waiting for the call in case he needs to provide support. Those Marines are our Marines, but in his eyes, they are HIS Marines. Whatever he needs to do, however he needs to bend and shape his machine to fit the bill to come to their defense, he is willing to put it all on the line to bring them protection, cover fire, help, anything. 

Except for this particular F-14 pilot (PBS's Carrier documentary) I know the pilots of those planes personally, they have told me their stories. I've heard probably a thousand variations on them, too.

We sacrificed; we bled; we did shit jobs to get our dream job. Numerous times, many of us have risked Death (Him whose name shall not be spoken.) I know plenty of pilots who cleaned sewers, threw bags, washed dishes, fueled planes, fought wars, flew in the wee hours so that they could do the job of dreams.

And that is what we do. How can we ever lose sight of that? We have a dream job.

So yes, pilots are special.

...and We are pilots, after all.