Well, that was not expected

What to do when what you planned is not what happenes. What do you do?

So I got to Jenison, Michigan, just fine. Went down to check out the little lake we would be swimming in for a sprint triathlon. Good Lordy, that water was cold. 600 yard swim, 18 mile bike, then run a 5k. Simple. I've been doing these distances for a while now, and while I had slacked off on my short vacation, I had built up a pretty good set of distances and times.

The swim? 12 minutes, tops. Especially with a wetsuit.

The bike? Maybe an hour. I can usually hold 18mph pretty steady, but the first 7 miles were pretty up-hilly, and I am a flat lander, so... that should be interesting.

The run? Yeah... I am still not a fast runner, but I should be able to keep my 10min/mile, and kick it up a hair for 29 minutes, maybe a few seconds more.

Into the water we went!

I started in the 3rd wave. They were 2 minute intervals, and everyone was talking how they would probably wear their wetsuits for the bike to help warm up after the swim, etc...etc.. etc...

Water temp at race time was 62F ashore, so probably 58 or so towards the middle/turning marks.

Got off to a good clean start, nothing at all like the angry washing machine of the deep water starts for the Chi Tri. We were able to stand in 4ft of water for the start, so we were not fully immersed. I had done a little freestyle out to the start mark, so I knew it would be cold, but I felt ok.

First mark was about 180-200 yards out, and to the right (facing the lake from transition.) I got near the mark, took a quick peek over my shoulder. I was in the top 3rd of my start, swimming strong, felt strong, all is well in the world. We had caught the stragglers of the prior start, and were pulling in towards the middle of that group.

As I turned back and went head down, I got some water. Just a little bit. Swimmers know this feeling... you cough a bit... take a deep breath, and then it is back to business. Happens all the time.

Only this time, I choked a little. Throat closed up. Breathing stopped.

For those of you who do not know me, I took my first swimming lesson when I was 2 and 1/2. I've been swimming for 43 years. I am more comfortable in the water than out, and I am more comfortable UNDER the water than some people are in a bathtub!

And then... I had... A Moment.

A small... oh so small... but very real. Panic Attack.

Suddenly, I had vertigo. I was free falling through space. I could feel the cold water around me, but everything stopped. My chest constricted, the wetsuit choked my neck, the whole freight train of hell parked itself on me.

I had an immediate flash mentally, and rolled on to my back. I can float for days... someone brings me a cheeseburger now and then, and I'll drift to Hawaii, no sweat.

So there I am... first 3rd of a racecourse, floating on my back... 'Look.. a cloud. <breathe... breathe deeper> Look... another cloud <breathe again, dammit... get that heartrate under control... stop hyperventilating.. BREATHE.>.. nothing but blue sky....

I think I was on my back about 4 minutes; seemed more like 3 hours. I felt alone in the lake. I absolutely needed to get my shit back in order, and get out of the lake.

I had seen a number of swimmer turn back after the 1st mark, saying "F this... f-ing cold, screw this crap," etc...

It was about 250 yards to the next mark, then a turn towards home. I could do that. Hell, that is not even my warm up swim.

So I started to doggy paddle. Yup, hard core racing there, folks. Head clear out of the water, feet kicking breaststroke style... Just keep moving forward.

I rolled over for some more backstroke, and a helpful cloud let me glide pretty smooth and straight. I made some good distance, but I knew I really did not want my chest and face back in the water. I was just not ready for the cold, not at all. When would I warm up? July? No clue... just keep moving forward.

Around the mark. Headed for home. Nobody here in the lake but us chickens. More breaststroke... some freestyle (front crawl for you Brits,) but head-out-of-the-water-for-'sighting' freestyle. 1st swimming lesson freestyle.

50 yards to go, and I can feel the bottom under my feet. Start running... I reach a hand back, grab the zip line on my wetsuit, and I am 3/4 peeled by the time I hit transition. Time to bike, maybe it will help warm me up.

My time was pretty lame on the bike, too, but I know that was the after-effects of freaking out on the swim. It took a while to get that monster out of my head. To be honest, what I wanted to do was go into the porta-john and cry my eyes out from the most disconcerting, scary moment I have ever had in the water. I have never once been scared, let alone anything more, in the water. Never. Pitch black, no reference, no shore, jump over the side, cut some crap free from the boat in the middle of the night? Sign me up, coach, I'm all over that.

What the *** happened?

Cold. Cold, and not ready for it. Not even close to ready for it. And then a freaky choke moment, that took advantage of the cold in me. Cold does funny things, and this time it busted my chops good. I was still recovering 7 miles into the bike (which was mostly uphill, and upwind for that distance.)

I managed to hit a good downhill spurt, zipped up to my top speed (35.44 mph on my speedo,) and I was still pedaling, trying to accelerate. I was down hard on the aerobars, and it felt so good.

I pounded the daylights out of the rest of the bike course, but, let's face it, the damage was long done by that point. All that I was up for was finishing. Running is my weak point, and I turned in a 32 minute 5K, which is not horrible, but I did expect better.

And I finished last in my age group. 92 out of 99 for finishers (+11 that dropped out totally, so I beat THEM, too... bwahahaha... but none of them were in my age group.... poop.)

I was talking to the last person to finish. A girl, quite a bit overweight, had no wetsuit for the swim and first triathlon ever... but she finished. After we chatted for a bit, she said "You know, I came in last... but I finished ahead of every single person who is too chicken to give it a try. I am taking back control of my life, and this sport has not seen the last of me."

I gave her a really big hug.

The next thing I need to do is go float around in the lake for a bit, face down, with a snorkel. lol....

What do you do when you get thrown a curve ball? Really?

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome. (Thank you United States Marines!)

Improvise... float on my back a bit (mid-race!) and see when my heartbeat recovers.

Adapt... Breaststroke! Sidestroke! Backstroke! Keep moving in the direction of the finish line.

Overcome... The mental challenge is the hardest, because your mind can mess with you more than anything from the outside could ever hope to do. Not even a contest. Use your will. Use your strength. Defeat your own weakness. Come back stronger.

When I exited the water, I pretty much told myself I would never swim again, ever. Right.

Right.

Find me some water, I have some swimming to do.